Friday, 20 February 2009


Dear P Club

I need some advice.

There’s this woman in work who is driving me mad. Generally - I find that I get along with all womanfolk - but there is a certain kind who I have problems with - and they are characterised by:

- overt aggression
- insecurity
- no sense of humour

We have formed a group of like-minded folk dedicated to a certain aspect of the law –We work together, organise functions and marketing events, share technical knowledge etc. etc. So far – so good.

And along comes this new lady – she’s a bit butch – short hair cut – men’s clothes – in fact looks like a man, but is not a man. Nothing wrong with that – I wear men’s clothes all of the time, and I enjoy it.

But by Gawd – she is so aggressively insecure and has the social skills of a duck.

For example:

She has designed a course, which we are running for the legal profession and all I did was make a few suggestions as to how we could improve it. But the reaction from her was severe – she argued that I was “stepping on her toes” – in short – she went ballistic!

I must admit she did make me laugh. And my first response was to make a big bloody joke out of it. Which made her even madder.

But if anyone tells me how I can improve something I am keen to listen and will often amend or even dump what I have prepared. My kids tell me all the time. It’s all about getting better at doing things - improving. But this lady won’t listen to anyone.

Anyway – I don’t mind really – she is certainly insecure and I can understand this; who wouldnt feel nervous around The Great Mr P?.

But she has started to tell little lies - and I cannot stand folks who tell lies - it erodes trust. I will give you a recent example:

One of our secretaries left because she couldn’t work with this woman any longer. Anyway – along comes our woman to one of our meetings and announces that the secretary had declared in her “EXIT” meeting that she had problems and issues with ALL OF US. That was news to me. Personally I try and get along with everyone.

So I phoned the secretary up and asked her if she did have issues with us all.

She was puzzled by the suggestion and explained that she had no issues with us – but only with our shorthaired friend – importantly she had never said any such thing at her EXIT interview.

A little lie.

And that is just one of many. I am coming to the conclusion that she has lost the ability to discern the truth from the fiction.

So P Club – I appreciate that this is all rather pathetic and of no-consequence. But how would you deal with this woman – if at all?

I am raising a very important and deep issue here you see: HOW DO WE CONFRONT EVIL?

I am certainly going to tackle her over the lying – because we cannot allow this.

How do you deal with someone who will not listen to reason?


Thursday, 12 February 2009


In this time of dire economic and social news - Mr P thought He would put up some great thoughts:

Successful people don’t wait for everything to be perfect to move forward. They take initiative; momentum is their friend.

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another” – Katherine Paterson.

People who take initiative and work hard may succeed, or they fail. But anyone who doesn’t take initiative is almost guaranteed to fail. To have a chance at getting what we desire we have to work for it.

We should be people who do the right think without being told.

Successful people don’t need a lighted fuse to motivate them. Their motivation comes from within.

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.”

Everyone experiences setback. We all face obstacles. From time to time, we all feel that the deck is stacked against us. We need to show initiative anyway. Dick Butler asserted. “Life isn’t fair. It isn’t going to be fair. Stop snivelling and whining and go out and make it happen for you.”

We need to take responsibility and act.

All problems become smaller if you don’t dodge them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly and its spines crumble.

Try scheduling a specific time for something that you don’t like doing. For example, if dealing with difficult people are a regular part of your job, but you tend to avoid doing it, then schedule a set time for it. Maybe the best time would be between two and three o’clock every day. Treat it like an appointment, and when three o’clock rolls around stop until tomorrow.

You must take action in order to become who you desire to be.

Desire isn’t enough. Good intentions aren’t enough. Talent isn’t enough. Success requires initiative. “Ideas are worthless. Intentions have no power. Plans are nothing, unless they are followed with action. Do it Now !!!”

Sunday, 1 February 2009


Mr P has been in Italy over the past few weeks: doing a bit of this and that.

And He’s still alive.

Thank Gawd…I hear you all say. Yes – thank The Lord.

Still Alive after a near- death experience – and all because of Mrs P’s Bloody family.

It goes like this:

Went out one evening: Mr P, Mrs P,her younger brother Paulo and his girlfriend Monica (nice girl – bit opinionated, but otherwise okay). We go to this weirdo “Pub” – great according to younger Bro; all made up like a scene from Edgar Allan Poe – but with skeletons in each corner and drinks served by vampires….only in Italy can something this naff be in existence.

All I had was a piece of toast and a non-alcoholic fruit juice – cost me twenty five squid !! Younger Bro had two pints of some fizzy cold yellow stuff, which he laughingly referred to as “beer”.

Anyway – two hours later he’s driving us home; either side of us is the Venice canal – very thin road – and dense fog – not enough space to allow two cars through without a bit of give and take. “CAUTION – is needed” - I hear you all say.


My Arse !

Younger Bro – just hits the pedal and starts to hammer through the fog – me and Mrs P in the back seat – him and Monica in the front.

He’s cranked up his car stereo – playing “Woman in Chains” by Tears for Fears (a great track circa 1989). It is very loud and my body is shaking with the boom of the base. It's putting my nerves on end.

Little Bro is smoking a foul Italian cigarette – which bounces up and down in his mouth as he jabbers away – which is often – because the silly sod is turning around in his seat to speak to me . Why is he speaking to me?

Because I am telling him to slow down, to turn that bloody music off and look where he’s going.

But will he?

Like hell he will – he just talks faster – arguing with me, wondering why I am so afraid, and he then speeds up – going 60+ miles per hour in dense fog – on a skinny Italian road – with canal either side… a said.

All along the way there are memorials to Italian Youths – who have died on this road – they wiz past like a dream – but I notice them, as well as the bat’s squeak of fear.

Nothing is working with this jerk – so I pray – grab Mrs P’s hand and vow that if I get out of this alive – I will change my ways – be kinder – be gentler – smell the flowers – walk the dogs more – love the neighbours – speak peaceably to everyone;

And deck this twat of an Italian brother in law with one swipe of my hoary hand and then bounce the car door off his head.

So I tap him on the shoulder and grab his earlobe and whisper in his ear (in Venetian dialect) – that I want him to speed up – so we get home quicker, while I’m still feeling mad – ‘cos when we get back I am going to spread his nose across his face and break his jaw into 10 digestible pieces.

P Club – let me tell you this:

Italians do not like violence – No Sir – they do not. And so twat Brother-In Law – slows down – straight away. So I tell him – to speed up – I need to get home quick –'cos his arse is grass.

He does not speed up and spends the next 10 minutes saying sorry.

So there we go – P is still here.

Alive and Well.