Saturday, 1 August 2009


Listen my Dear P Club – I appreciate that P has been away – and I know how you have pined…but here He is – BACK.

In the interval P has been in The U S of A (in a place called "Kansas") – and He will tell you all about that. But wait up…there’s something else to tell.

P will tell of morality and offer enlightenment.

The Foal and the 2 Scumbags

The news has been full recently of an event, which took place near where I live. This story, although local to where P lives, was taken up by the national press and even grabbed the attention of folks in New York. It's all about animals and hence the vast British interest - with us being animal lovers and all - no Spanish cruelty in our country - No Sir! We are the humane nation.

One afternoon two teenagers were observed taking a little foal into our local park in the middle of the day. They then proceeded to kick and stamp it to death – laughing their arses off as they did it. The geezeer who saw it - felt powerless to help as these teenagers looked mean and nasty and oftentimes in the UK - an intervention can result in a knife in the head or at least a good kicking.

The press went totally Ape-Shit and there ensued a moral panic the size of London. Fibres of the trainers (sneakers) were taken from the dead animal and a lab in the States offered to analyse them. They did and hey presto - we discovered who these shit-heads were.

Well – they have caught the little scumbags and they are awaiting trial – one 19 year and one 17 – with a spotty faced 14 in tow.

Trouble is – my kids know these little scumbags as one of them came to our boxing club for a short spell.

I don’t get it – can the P Club please explain to me the psychology of this event? What attracts 3 kids to kill an animal in this way? It's worse that it was a foal - not sure why - but it just it.

2 more scumbags and Little P

But there’s a brighter tale and this one happened not too far from the foal-killing park.

9 o’clock at night Little P is walking with a friend through the mean streets of our village. Little P is 15 years old – but he’s quite tall for his age – but very slim built. Underneath his shirt he’s a typical boxer boy – fit as a ferret.

Anyway – two individuals start to cross the road towards Little P – two youths aged approx 19 and 20. Much bigger and older than Little P. Deliberately they barge into Little P, and not wanting trouble Little P say “Sorry”.

Next thing – this big guy pushes Little P up against a fence and feints a punch into his face. Little P looks scared – and youth turns and laughs to his friend.


The twat – leaves his chin hanging in mid-air.

Little P – clips him straight underneath with an uppercut, right on the button of the chin and knocks him out cold.

Sparko – bloody-unconscious.

Little P said to me that he saw this idiot’s eyes roll into the back of his head before he hit the deck. He lay on the floor for at least two minutes having a refreshing nap.

Next thing- the other idiot tries to take on Little P and his friend and gets nowhere. In fact the guy gets roughed up by Little P and friend. In the meantime our hero as awakened from his slumbers and staggers towards Little P - mouthing obscenities.

Little P simply reminds him that he was knocked out and advises that there's more were that came from. Knocked out by a kid.

I was so pleased that it happened – that Little P let this big fat bully have it. The thing is - he is used to throwing a punch - it comes second nature.

Always let scum-bags like this have it before they have a chance to start on you. I can tell when trouble is on the horizon and I have taught my boys to hit first and then run.

This sort of violence happens all over the UK – all of the time.

I am so glad that I have taught Little P how to box and to get the retaliation in first. Had he not decked this idiot he was in serious trouble.


Nice to be back.

Oh Good Grief – it’s fantastically nice to be back


Mr Pineapples said...

P we have missed you.

We celebrate your return.

Hooray For The P

boXer girl said...

Glad you're back Mr P, but your sudden departure left a mark. Was Kansas all out of "internet access" ?? I'm not sure forgivness can be so casually handed out to you. Of course you could earn it... :)

PS - way to go Little P. Train like you fight, fight like you train...

Mr Pineapples said...

My Dear Boxer Babe

You are right - there are no excuses for my lack - my crimes are many.

I am keen to earn my forgiveness from you.

In the usual way? I hope.

boXer girl said...

I think you're going to have to start at the bottom and work your way up, Mr P. It'll take time with me, so maybe start off slow.

TROLL Y2K said...

Methinks it's largely a waste of time to delve into the psychological reasons scumbags did the act they were caught for. And quite often, the conclusion reached is false and to the extent it's considered a mitigating condition, lets the scumbag escape full punishment.

I realize that in today's UK many young people still live with their Mommy until they're 30, but I think both are PLENTY OLD ENOUGH to bear the full consequences of their behavior. God only knows what other things they've done or will do.

Ms. Moon said...

Mr. P- I am so choked up at your return I cannot write.
Please know how glad the weboverse is to have you again in its bosom.

Charmskool said...

I'm so glad you are back sir! Yay for boxing - as a young girl in SAffrica I was taught to box by an ex British Army Middleweight Boxing Champ (long story don't ask)and it really came in useful when a large 18year old boy decided to get a lot too fresh with me. He too presented the perfect view of his chin and I socked him neatly on the button - good night Irene! I then hopped swiftly off the bus (where the event was taking place) and made my merry way home tra lah.

Law Minx said...

My Dear P!!!

You is returned to the ETHER!!! (cue Peels of Bells /Hevenly Choirs/Angels Weeping/the 182 Overture/Fireworks, etc)

I must say I am with Boxer Girl on this one - the state of Kansas may have once been called the Apex of Stupididy by Joan Rivers, but Even I Simply REFUSE to believe that it is a place entirely devoid of net access !!

Seriously though, well glad that you're back!!

I trust you and yours are well. P minor sounds as if he did you well proud!

Heff said...

I thought the States STUNK a little more than normal....PINEAPPLES !!!

Mr Pineapples said...

Dear P club - it's really great that P is back.

Troll - oh you speak such words of wisdom - these kids are little psycopaths with emphathy for feelings for man or beast. You are quite right it perhaps is not worth exploring their psychology.

Ms Moon - I came to America but couldnt find you - where were you? I bet you secretly live in Liverpool (England). But P is looking forward to conversing with you once again.

Darling Charmskool - P knew you were a tough nut - despite that cuddly bunny rabbit look. Hey - womens boxing is in the Olympics in 2012 - expect to see you there.

Minxta - so have you got a bleedin' pupillage yet? Honestly - the law is such an ass. Nice to hear from you.

Hey Heff - look mate - you dont play a real guitar anymore......get over it....As for the smell - my kids keep nicking my anti-P (they nick all my nice clothes's true !!)

Heff said...

I still play what you refer to as a "real guitar". When involved with the band, I simply choose to pick up the bass because no one else will !

Trubes said...

Mr P, I am in raptures of delight at your return. Welcome home!
The story of the poor foal is just to distressing to even think about.
Good for Little P, although 'tis surprising he wasn't arrested and charged with GBH, in this upside down lawless society!


Rob said...
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Rob said...
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Mr Pineapples said...

Heff - what are you ? A man or a mouse?

You are a ROCK GOD.....just because those losers wont pick up the base - stuff em. I mean......listen....base guitarists are the nobodys in the band......and you cannot allow them to drop you into obscurity.


So nice to be back.....I am coming over to your palce soon.

Law Minx said...

My Dear P

Pupillage is a SWEAR word Chez Minx.

I am now off to lamp seven bells out of my boxercise instructor.

Tamara said...

I just got excited that you were back and now I realise it's been weeks since this post, P.

tsssk tsssk.

Living in South Africa, most of my friends and I have done some sort of self-defence training. It just seems prudent.

The problem with boxing in schools is the bullies who don't learn the discipline and use their boxing skills to be even nastier scumbags.

Heff said...

You wanna step outside, Pineapples ??