I COULD SPIT

So incensed P Club

Just been reminded that the National Opera House in UK gets a grant from UK Government (my arse) of £25 million each bloody year

Yea Gods

£25 bloody million Squid!!

Yea-Bloody Gods

I am totally in a crazed frame of mind about this.

Listen - P is a lawyer - and certain lawyers (the important serious ones) apparently should be loving Opera and all that Krap.

BUT I DONT ...IN FACT I HATE THAT STUFF.

Let's face up to it: Nobody likes Opera; it's the Emperor's New Clothes syndrome: folks pretend they like it only to look good - to be seen to be a part of the establishment. And it's the bloody establishment who is choosing to spend our money on this garbage.

Shrieking in a foreign language like a bunch of pneumatic drills - wearing 17th century costumes and lurching about the stage pretending to do a bit of acting. That is Opera - pared back to the roots.

P went for a few drinks with some QC's the other day after a case I had been dealing with(QC's are barristers at the top of their profession). The talk was of private schools and the bloody Opera. They asked Mr P His views. What did P say?

"Dunno - I am into Boxing"

TOTAL BLOODY SILENCE.

It was as if I'd just announced my membership of the Nation of Islam.

Name me one person...just one who actually likes Opera -for the artistic element and not for lathering the ego with "Look at me - I am sitting in an Opera House - listening to Opera - with all these Big Knobs....which must make me a Big Knob too."Go on - give me just one name.

Betcha-can't do it.

COS NOBODY LIKES IT

THEY CAN'T DO

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE

"YOU'RE JUST LIKE NICOTINE"

That's what she told me before I was dumped.

"You are addictive but no good for me.....goodbye".

And she did dump me - flicked onto the rusty scrap heap - one week before the wedding.

Seven days - rushing like a blue arsed fly - cancelling all the arrangements and all that krap. Mind in a daze – like a dream - a nightmare - dead man walking.

I then skidded into a downward spiral of grief. Yes - grief - I tell yee. And what a time that was (and it lasted over 2 years)... when I thought: - well - that's my life buggered up entirely; nothing's going to go right from now on.

Trouble was - I'd moved country - changed jobs - said goodbye to all my friends and family - big farewell party - good wishes - high hopes - speeches - high-fives - shed a few happy tears to start this new and exciting life and Great Expectations. At last Mr P had found His dream girl - this was the ultimate.

SUDDENLY - THE NICOTINE QUOTE ...and...

On His Arse - dumped completely - in a strange land and far away from all that I'd known and loved. And the world - slipped off it's axis.

The word on the street: it's all his fault - he's finally got his come-upance. So much humble pie eaten.

Such a long time ago now - and the memories have finally lost their sting....well almost. I look back and can still sense the unfocused bewilderment.

Sorry for getting so maudlin on you P Club....but do you know what? Thank God she dumped me. Me the loved and famous Mr P - grateful for that mighty kick in the teeth...for the years of confusion, sadness and bewilderment.

Why is P raising this spectre after these years?

DUNNO

But - don't you all find that life has so many disappointments - which in the moment seem so catastrophic but in the fullness of time turn out to be pure gold?

When fully accepted they form our character and provide that empathy to understand what other folks go through. Otherwise we are oblivious to struggle and harden our hearts in a pain free cocoon.

Don’t you find that?

That girl thought I was something I wasn't and would never have accepted the Real Mr P; a recipe for misery and constant strife.

Good-bleedin' riddance - and I say that without sour-grapes - but with the realisation of a lucky escape. At the time - it was a crushing blow - but in hindsight - pure miraculous intervention.

You got to give it to her though eh? "You're just like nicotine" - bloody brilliant.

DEAR P WEENIES

There has been a request (from the colonies) for Mr P to stop being so lazy - and do a post.

Well

P has been busy of late - BUT

He's going to hit you with THREE posts in quick succession.

Three I say.

Be prepared:

TITLES ARE:

1. You're just like nicotine
2. My Court case
3. Cheer up you miserable little gett

YEA YEA YEA

I wanna be a STAR
I wanna go far
I wanna drive around in a big red car,
I said:
YEA, YEA, YEA
I wanna be a STAR

I wanna be a HIT
I wanna be It
I wanna see my name all BRIGHTLY LIT
I said:
YEA, YEA, YEA
I wanna be a HIT

I wanna be SEEN
I wanna be on screen
I wanna be the cover of a magazine
I said:
YEA, YEA, YEA
I wanna be SEEN

I wanna be a STAR
I wanna be a STAR
But I've only got a job......

In a BURGER BAR.....

So far........




LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF THE P:

Isn't this how the world is these days?
Is this all we aspire to?
My kids love Big Brother!
What is happening to us?