Monday, 5 January 2009


Problem One – the War in Gaza

Am I missing something?

Palestinian militant groups send rockets into Israel from the Gaza Strip and Israel retaliates. No body wants to see a war, death and casualties, but there is a very simple solution:

Stop sending rockets into Israel.

It’s bloody simple isn’t it? What is Israel supposed to do? If the French were bombing us (their neighbour) would we just sit back and take it?

I don't think so.

As for the demonstrators around the country – demanding a cease-fire and condemning Israel – why don’t they just be grateful they live in a democracy that allows freedom of speech and religion etc. These idiots even attack the British Police like it’s our bleedin' fault. And we see the usual old jump-on the band wagon hacks like Tony ("The Ego") Benn and Ken Livingstone all marching around too. Oh my Gawd - it's really is.

If you poke a lion with a stick he is going to bite you.

Hamas – My Arse

Problem Two – the Economic Meltdown of the UK (and the rest of the World)

Gordon Brown is a toss-pott – a totally useless Scottish Gett. Am I right? He is not the saviour of our country at all, but one of the reasons why we are in this mess.

He allowed the Banks to lend massive amounts of cash to idiots who could never pay the loans back.

Again, am I missing something?

If you borrow – don’t you eventually have to pay it back?

Couldn’t that miserable looking gett see that we were heading for financial ruin? An economy, which evolves around inflated house prices, will eventually dive into the sand. Isn’t this as obvious as the nose on your face?

And as for the get-rich mentality – we have become like a body builder who beefs up his neck muscles so that they eclipse his head.

What is the point? It’s ugly and utterly, utterly meaningless. Why do folks need more money than they can even spend?

Who has bewitched us into believing that wealth is all we should aspire to? Fooled into believing that riches and material things are all that matters in this world?

- Celebrity culture stinks

- Overpaid sports stars stink (of cologne no doubt – but it makes a very bad smell)

It’s a fools’ paradise with fools’ gold. Bugger off: long expensive holidays – new cars – bigger houses – better jobs – better education. Bollocks to the lot of it.

A reshaping of our Western World is taking place.

You’d better believe it.

Problem Three – who gives a monkey’s cuss about Cricket?

Come on BBC – we just don’t care about that boring game – so STOP going on about it.


Ms. Moon said...

Listen- just do what we here in the US are doing about Problems Number 1 and 2.
Blame George Bush. Why not?
As to Problem No. 3- that may be George's fault too. Go ahead and blame him. It can't hurt.

Beth said...

Wow! You might be better than the Huffington Post.

I'm amazed at the people who don't understand the retaliation aspect when discussing the *newest* war. Thanks for simplifying the explanation for me so that now I can steal your words and act as if I was the one who was all brainy.

boXer girl said...

May I call you King Pineapples! (and I don't mean your pineapples are king-size... although I have heard a rumor...)

My point is, you're crass words are so perceptive! I can't help but sit here, nodding in agreement.

Law Minx said...

My Dear P,

Whilst I do not have an opinion on the political situation in the middle east per se, you do have to say that your bog standard Palestinian is taking a more than his fair share of collateral damage simply because one or two nutters launched a rocket attack upon the Israeli's, who, in the defence of their state cannot really afford NOT to attempt to punish those who threaten it. It's a sad and, for the moment irresolvable situation since no one even wants to talk ceasefire, let alone a more lasting peace. In the meantime, the common man will continue to take his battering. Such is War, and its sad on both sides to the point of tragedy.

2: Gordon is a Moron - and so are all the Banks, chucking good people's money after bad.

3:I cant WAIT for the Six Nations to start. Bring it on, thats what I say, and STUFF cricket!!

Heff said...

Haa ! We don't have to hear about Cricket over here !! My only aspiration is MORE PUSSY !

Heff said...

You like the Chixie Dicks ?

Mr. Pineapples, I'm ashamed of you.

Tamara said...

P for President (or Prime Minister or whatever you Brits call the dude in charge over there)!

I'm with you on the cricket! But when my husband isn't watching cricket, he's watching rugby. So there's no real win.

Anonymous said...

Israel is a bit bananas isn't it? The Israelis are a violent bunch at the best of times, and the problem here really is that a few nutters are launching rockets as you say. The problem needs to be dealt with intelligently and swiftly. Force is pretty realistic and rather than being wet about it, going in there and nuking the baddies definitely works better than, say, Afghanistan.

Trust those clever Israelis to once again think outside of the box! In yet another Machiavellian twist (although I dont recall this being in 'the Prince') Israel opts for air-to-ground missiles into schools, and a series of attacks on civilian targets! It's 2006 all over again only they've not cut the power/water/nuked ambulances yet!

Now I know they may not be targeting that specifically *okayyyyy* but jesus. They could at least try to keep civvy death tolls to a minumum! They could also stop illegally nicking other people's countres and then complain about conspiracies to collonise Israel couldn't they?

The world is so full of naughty-folk ain't it Pineapples?

Economics- I don't care, I have -£600 to my name at present. I love loaning. You sure about this 'paying off' malarky? That might put a spanner or two in the works for me.

Cricket, fair enough. Good to have a picnic too, not enough punch ups to be interesting.

Mr Pineapples said...

Hey There P Club

Ms Moon - young George was a great bloke - are you being ironic there? I thought everyone loved him over there.

hey Beth - of course P is "brainy" - keep on learning from the P. Do you want that car back or what?

Boxer Babe - you little flatterer - the Pineapples rumours are so true (as you know).

hey Minxtaaa - it is certainly a great tragedy for the ordinary folks of Gaza. But there is a simple solution to the immediate problem - stop the rockets. And the number of rockets was getting up to 70 a day !!

As for cricket - the news is currently full of some old geezer resigning as captain. I couldnt give a bleedin' toss.

Hey there Old Heff (with the two "f"s) - listen - there is nothing wrong with the Dixies - I love them - they are really musical; though my kids laugh at me when I put them on. I do like the rock though - not as harde core as you.

Tamara - your husband sounds OUT OF CONTROL - still - your lot are quite good at rugby - have to give you that.

Hey there RockBasist - listen - it is certainly a very heavy response from Israel - but my point was that Gaza has brought this on its self - Stop Sending Rockets into Israel. What do they expect? Bloody extremist idiots.

My Other Blog said...

Cricket (and other sports on TV) generate ad revenue, so someone - the teams, the sponsors who sell more beer, the tv stations make money.
George W. Bush is definitely responsible for the war in the mid east, the economic crisis and all of the other problems in the world. 13 more days, then he's outta here!

Isabel said...

I don't know much about the British economy; this was pretty interesting. Thanks for the comment from a few weeks ago; I was on hiatus as far as Blogspot goes, but I'll be on more frequently.

electro-kevin said...

Great post, Mr P.

Law Minx - Picture this scenario.

Minority anti-French fanatics launching missiles at France from da YooKay.

Wouldn't it be the job of THE PEOPLE to prevent it happening ?

"But the fanatics have military control over THE PEOPLE"

In which case I suggest that the fanatics ARE the people.

The Israelis cannot afford to discern between enemy and innocent bystander.

Nor can any state during times of war.

Law Minx said...

Hi Kev,

Your argument is a very valid one!As I've stated in my post, I fully appreciate that Israel cannot afford to let slip for one MINUTE, else all is lost; theirs is a constant, almost daily, struggle to survive as a state and I sympathise.

However, from a humanitarian point of view, I find their present response slightly disproportionate, and their scant disregard for the UN, the Red Cross, and the Geneva Conventions troubling.

*Shrugs* what can I say? I'm a Human Rights Lawyer!

electro-kevin said...

Ha ha, Law Minx - the Human Rights lawyer !

It's war. When is that ever proportionate ?

I feel that, at the root of all this, Europeans (including us) are to blame. What a pickle !

I hope I don't sound flip because I do get distressed by the pictures of dead Arab children. One of a broken father pictured by his two dead boys - a worse thing I could not imagine.

Law Minx said...


Is it war, or bloody pogram?! Fine line, I think, these days.

And yes, to my lasting SHAME, I am a HR Lawyer - I can take the jokes, really I can...!!!

Trubes said...

Interesting words Mr P:
I am relluctant to comment on these matters as a lot of people know where I live (if you know what I mean)!
I was once involved in a credible IRA bomb threat for airing my views.
Have you read my news Flash yet on my site?


Vodka Mom said...

Didn't you mean to say "Who gives a Monkey's ASS?" let's get it right Mr. Pineapples.

I'm here for my kiss.

Heff said...


Jon said...

No worries. I'm on top of the Arsenal situation. I'll set them straight.

Shaun Attwood