Welcome to 2009 P Club.Hey Listen.
P had a party for New Year’s Eve; I never get invited to parties so I must have my own. And what a bleedin’ nightmare it was.
Anyone who comes to P’s party is up for a fun evening of PARTY GAMES……it’s compulsory. I have loads of kids to look after…..I cant just let them sit in a corner and look bored. And I don’t leave the kids with grandparents whilst Mr and Mrs P bugger off down a nightclub.
No – for me – family life is my whole life.
So – it’s Hearty Party for the whole of P household.
In Mr P’s parties there’s none of that drinking shed loads of booze, taking drugs or smoking fags. Done that years ago – was boring then and is boring now. P’s body is a temple – never fill it full of krap like that.
Truth is – I have to cater for all ages at The P household parties: little kids (loads of them); teenage boys (with their mates), friends and neighbours. This year we invited some neighbours (who have been going through some tough times) and Mrs P also decided to invite some folks from Belgium.
Can you bleedin Adam and Eve it? A bunch of Belgians? In our house !
So – I get party games going…..yes Party Games. Crazy – zany – wacky games. But it was like winding up the dead. So many folks just refused to play. But – Mr P never gives up – and yes the buggers did play the games. I bullied them into it.
But it was hard work. And them some of the little girls started arguing and crying…..and we had kids sneaking off to play = Play Station.
I spent the whole time cajoling folks – rounding folks up – telling kids off – encouraging them to join in – looking for the dogs – serving drinks.
Why do folks come to a party and then sit po-faced and refuse to speak to anyone unless someone speaks to them – and then refuse to take part in Mr P’s (compulsory games) – I resorted to threats of violence in the end – seemed to work.
Oh Gawd – how I dislike introverts who refuse to socialise. Quiet people are okay up to a point – but when invited to a party they should either join in, bugger off quick – or better still – refuse the invite by saying:
“I am a quiet person….I will not make any bloody effort to get involved – but will sit in the corner expecting you to entertain me the whole bleedin’ time – and on that basis – I must decline your kind invitation”.
Thank Gawd for Mr P’s kids.
My kids are up for everything – and my teenage boys are totally bloody fearless – they don’t give a monkeys cuss – will play any game I ask them to – will dance and have a laugh at anything. And they don’t mind a bit of a scrap either…
During our party they decided to strip off down to their boxer shorts and go for a wander around the village – freezing cold with 3 mates. Got chased by some old bloke who took offence at their sprightliness.
I even made them wear compulsory lion masks – my boys wore them – but my girls point-blank refused.
HEARTY PARTY
Then one of the dogs goes missing – had to go looking for the little monkey; found him down the road.
I totally cocked up the food – told someone (on the phone) to bring a cake and mentioned there were 26 people coming to the Party – the idiot brings 26 pudding and cakes. Mrs P blames me. We had so much food – cakes all over the place – bottles of wine wherever you turned.
I drank one glass of mulled wine all evening. Too bloody busy getting folks to join in on my party games.
ANYWAY
At 11 o’clock I wrapped up the whole party – sent the boring buggers home – and The P family went off to another party – with about 100 people. That was a funky time.
What did you boring buggers get up to P Club?
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