Friday, 10 October 2008


Sorry folks for the long delay between posts – but there have been some issues back in Italy which The P has had to deal with. Totally back now….and on with the show.

The Headmaster was called as a witness. He seemed a very decent chap – but nervous in the witness box. The other side’s barrister leads him gently through some of the evidence, and out of the blue the headmaster starts talking about our chap's earlier assaults on kids. Weird - because he had been told by his barrister not to mention any of this; and I was assured that he would not.

Well up I stands – very quick – I do not want the jury to hear this. I demand that the Judge sends them out whilst we sort out a legal matter. Out they go. I argue that this is “Bad Character” evidence by the back door and should not be admitted. None of the allegations are proven and certainly our chap has never been charged for any crime....ever.

The Judge agrees with P – and the Headmaster is advised to stay off the subject. The sick thing is that I had already had this matter dealt with in the Court before the headmaster appeared.

So eventually I get to cross-examine the headmaster. He certainly was nervous and smiled weakly at me as I rose to my feet. I acknowledged him with a nod and a half smile. Like I said – a decent bloke – doing a difficult job – no way am I going to tear into this chap. So I give him respect and take things calmly and slowly. The Jury would expect no less.

It transpires that he did not witness the incident – was in his office at the time – just saw the aftermath. Found kid lying on the floor crying, sobbing and teacher wandering about wondering what to do...bemused and befuddled.

So I asks him what was the point of his evidence.

Apparently it was to explain to the Court the strictures and mechanics of “Team Teach” – the system for controlling wayward and unruly kids. So I says to him:

So difficult to prevent your hand moving from the child’s back and arm isn’t it? – Especially when he’s struggling.”


“Not fool proof is it – “Team Teach”


“You weren’t surprised to see the boy sobbing on the floor – it’s quite usual to see upset kids at this school, isn’t it?”

Quite usual”

“You didn’t see the teacher hit the boy?”


“Throw him to the floor?”


It transpired too that in the aftermath, although the child was looked after - picked up and ailments administered to, the poor old teacher was left to get on with it; he was asked to return to the class,on his own, to carry on with the lesson.

This was against the rules of the school: he needed another teacher present with him, as all of the children are disturbed and "behaviourally challenged".

On that day He was later suspended - without being afforded the opportunity of putting his version of events.

I put all of this to the Headmaster who meekly agreed that they had got it all wrong, dealt with it badly, and had let the teacher down through lack of support.

And that was it.

But as the headmaster was getting out of the witness box – he turned to the jury and said:

“I would never employ this man again….he has hit other children……he is not right…..”

He had to be forcefully removed and was still shouting and pointing at our teacher as he was ejected from the court.

What a scum- bag.

The Jury heard and saw the whole bleedin' thing.


Mr Pineapples said...

Great to have You back P

boXer girl said...

That's craziness. I've seen witnesses act like that on Law & Order and Matlock, but I didn't think they acted like that in real life. Still, I would give anything to see you in action, Mr P!
(and welcome back!)

Trubes said...

Good to have you back dear Pineapples...Oooh this case is so very interesting....can't wait for the next thrilling instalment.


Ms. Moon said...

Yes. Great to have you back, Mr. P. How was Italy?

Mr Pineapples said...

Hie Gang

Great to be back.

My Father-In-Law died unfortunatly.

Lot of emotion and upset - funeral in Italy.

Back now.

Great to hear from you all.

Fiona said...

The suspense was killing me but under the circumstances all is forgiven. Sorry to hear of your father in law's death and I hope Mrs P and the little Ps are alright.

My Other Blog said...

I'm so sorry about your father-in-law.
The judge should have told the jury to disregard that last statement - as if they could - or declared a mistrial.

Swiss Tony said...

Mr P, blimey mate, under the circs I won't ask why you couldn't post from Italy, but blimey...

We need the next thrilling installment now. We can't wait. You have us all crying out for more.

It does bring your story back to your original query though, why are they ganging up on this poor guy? If the Head has admitted that they screwed up and got it all wrong, why take it out on teach?

Supposedly the only witnesses to the alleged assault are a class of the lads mates, who are all 'challenged' in one way or another. And who will support their mate and like to see the teacher sacked.


Mr Pineapples said...

Questions Questions...

My other blog: - good point - the Judge did speak the jury on this point straight away and addressed them again in his summing up of the evidence.

Swiss - I will reveal all - Later!

Mr Pineapples said...


Mrs P was obviously very upset - her dad was a larger than life character - owner of large vineyard and farm - very big family. Lot of tears and emotion at the funeral. Very Un-British.

We are going to miss him.

Little P's are fine. Big-Little P is fighting in the ABA National finals soon (boxing) and so this has helped.

How are you anyway - are you still surviving?

Trubes said...

So sorry about your father-in-law, my sincere condolences to all.
If you've caught up with the financial chicanery in the country you may find my recent post about how this inept government is affecting the world of trubes.

Take care my friend,


Anonymous said...

All a load of bollocks, I am amazed at how these poor people were sucked in by all the shite you spout. You wouldn't know reality if it came up and kicked you in the gonads! (of course, you don't have such organs, sorry)

I do love the way you start each of your comments with a comment post from yourself, just to entice people.

"great to have you back P"

You really aught to see a professional about your sad condition, before you grow up and start abusing your own kids in the same way hat your daddy did to you.

That is if you are indeed, an adult. From what I have seen you speak in the tones of a fifteen year old kiddy.

Oh Ghod I feel so sorry for you

Anonymous said...

Your father in law died?

You lying little cunt. Shame on you.
You lying little cunt. YOU LYING LITTLE CUNT.

Anonymous said...

Oh, by the way. "Great to have You back P"

(copied and pasted from your own comment) I know how much you love yourself.

Tamara said...

Sorry to hear about your FIL, Mr P. But glad you're back. I've been wondering about the case - driving me nuts!

Mr Pineapples said...

Hie Rab Knee

Looks like P has sucked you in as well. Your comments are the longest and the most needy.

We are here to help you Rab.

We know how you suffer, the pain you must feel.

We love you Rab..we are your family here.

Repent Rab's the First Step

Mr Pineapples said...

Tamara - who is that dog in your picture?

Is it your dog?

Is it a real dog?

Or is it you in a dog-suit?

What is it?

electro-kevin said...

Ron Knee,

Repent with us ... REPENT !

We shall form a circle and sooth you with our incantations.

Mr P,

Very very sorry to hear the sad news. Pass our condolences to your good lady.

As for the court case ... aaagh ! Can't believe the behaviour of the Head - it seems that Heads just ain't what they used to be.

electro-kevin said...

And personally I think teachers should be able to whack kids anyway.

It would do much to sort out this ballsed-up country.

Any parent that stormed down to a school to take on a teacher should be birched.

Mr Pineapples said...

Kev - I am so with you on this. I have been hauled down the school on a number of occasions to speak to teachers - when little P's have misbehaved.

My attitiude is to support the teachers and sort ou little Ps.

I have every respect for teachers.

When I was in school I was walloped a few times - did me a lot of good. Then again my school was rough inner-city.

Please have a word with Rab knees...tell him that we care - and are praying for him

Anonymous said...

This blog is the best laugh I have had since I learned that Gordon brown had cancer of the mortgage! What a load of bollocks!

When you reach the age of consent, please feel free to leave any comment you like on my blog. I won't delete them this time as we would like something to laugh at. You are what, fifteen now? give it another year and perhaps you could develop a sense of reality. Peace Bro.

Anonymous said...

My father in law died in italy -

Haw haw! you bin watching too much telly pal! "The sopranos?" Haw haw!

lucius said...

You commented on a blog of mine something absurd like three months ago, and becuse I'm a negligent blgger who uses the interbutts for online gambling and arguing over political issues, I just got it today. 3 months late. I did want to say thanks, but now that I've checked out your blog and realized your fucking brilliant I want to say both "thanks" and "I subscribed to you on google reader." Thanks for being a cool person who bothered to check out my srsly-boring blog.

Mr Pineapples said...

Erm....Rod Knees

Great to have you back.


Aint you said this stuff before:

- The 15 year old
- Lying about the death of my father in law

New stuff please – somehting a bit more Scottish

Mr Pineapples said...

Lucius - great to have you in the show.

I did indeed comment on your blog - it was a very funny post.

So - how comes you live in the USA and the UK?

What's it all about?