P HAS WORKED OUT WOMEN (LEARN FROM THE P)

Yup – P has totally sussed out women.

He understands them now – can outthink them – bloody easy.

Just pretend they are in charge and go along with any krap they come out with. Let them get it out of their systems – and let the bollocks run its course.

For example:

P mentioned Christmas to Mrs P – asked what we are doing this year – suggested what fun it might be.

And she went totally bloody ape-shit; chucked her toys out of the pram and the pram through the bleedin’ window

Made P write a list of all the stuff we are NOT going to do this year – a list of rules – made P stick it on the wall for everyone to see.

The List of Not to do:

1. No watching telly
2. No boxing DVDs
3. No arguing, whining or complaining
4. No sitting around doing nothing
5. No Christmas dinner
6. No noise or loud talking
7. No screaming
8. No fighting
9. No going to bed at 2 o'clock in the morning and getting up all grumpy 'cos we all knackered

(I MEAN – WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO?)

Then a list of stuff we MUST do:

1. Everyone takes the dogs out for walks
2. Visiting folks
3. Phoning folks
4. Curry take-away instead of Turkey
5. Organised games
6. We all sit down together every evening and read quietly


So I write out this krap – (she dictates and P writes it all down) and I stick it on the wall – with celotape all around it.

Trouble is – the kids come along and add comments in red ink – stuff like:

“No Tiny Tim”

“Dear Ebenezer……”

“Love Scrooge….”

“No breathing……no laughter…….no life……”

“No grandparents……”

“No Christmas”

But here’s the psychology P Club:

P went with it….didn’t complain……nodded sagely at the wisdom of the list……promised to keep to its strictures……

Next thing – Mrs P takes it down (after a week) – and announces that she’s going to have Christmas after all…….and that she feels better now.

Hoorah for Bleedin’ Christmas.

P WINS AGAIN

P WINS

P WINS