Again
Perplexed...
But having kids (especially girls) - P's used to it. But here's the story:
Contacted an old pal by email out of the blue. Tracked him down and wanged off a message - nothing elaborate - just "Hello ole mate..." that sort of thing.
Heard nothing for weeks - and then he replied....
....and what a shocker...what a reply!! Oh me Gawd - Bloody-Gobb-smacked I was.
Because instead of saying "Hey me ole mate...long time no-hear...." oh no nothing that prosaic - instead the cheeky bugger said:
I DON'T REMEMBER YOU.
YOU WHAT?
YEA - NOT EVEN THE NAME RANG ANY BELLS.
DUH? YOU HAVING A LAUGH?
P picks himself up of the floor and replies - suggesting a few events to trigger his memory:
1. You remember - we worked in the summer camp teaching drama to students for 6 weeks - every year ?
2. We shared a room? - (for bleedin' heck's sake)
3. P always in trouble - snogging too many girls- nearly got sent home every year?
4. We went to Blackpool together for a day?
REPLY:
"NOPE NO BELLS RINGING"
OH STRIKE ME DOWN!
So P sends another email:
6. P introduced you to your wife? I was with some other bird...nice looking...I even stayed at your wife's parents' house...with you....you.... YOU DICK.
REPLY:
"OH IT'S COMING BACK NOW".
Oh, it's on it's way back? Nice one - starting to come back eh? That's just great...I am so bleedin' grateful.....oh joy.....how bloody impressive.
WELL - TOO BLEEDIN' LATE NOW OLE BUDDIE...TOO LATE...
....IF YOU GOT TO DREDGE P UP FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR MEMORY...
...THAT'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
So P Club what does this all mean? What lessons can we take from this sad little story?
The obvious one: Perhaps P isn't memorable. We are heroes in our own minds, but to others - just so forgettable.
Mere mist....non-entities.
But this can't be true... P would stick in your mind. BELIEVE ME. P is not easy to forget...He is after all "The Famous Mr Pineapples". So that cannot be it.
So what else? What else explains this vile forgetfulness?
The reason must be this: (and it's shocking):
SOME FOLKS LIVE IN THE PERPETUAL PRESENT.....(like pets)....WITHOUT ANY TRACKER TO THE PAST
But that is so foreign to The P....so alien that is has shaken me all up.
I spend a lot of my life thinking about what has gone before: collecting and organising the past: friends, former girlfriends, things I felt and said, lessons learned - all that sort of krap.
I divide and order my life in blocks of events, of people, places, times, dates. I apportion it into eras and play it back like a video in my head.
The past is always with me - hanging like a worn and easy coat.
I remember so much - but it all adds up to make me what I am. What has gone helps me understand and interpret what is happening now.
Am I normal in that regard? I used to think I was. Aint so sure now. Perhaps I am unique. Perhaps strange and odd?
Come to think of it Mrs P don't live in the past like me - to her - what is past has passed. She thinks I waste my life thinking about what has gone.
Bloody hell - it's been an eye-opener...let me tell you.
As for my ole mate? Forget it.....he's history.
Posts
19 comments:
But P - to write off a trusted and well loved friend like this...is so...Hard.
Mr P:
A few year ago I put together a 25th anniversary leaving do for the guys who had left my school in 1977.
The most amazing thing for me on the night was (even allowing for hair loss + weight gain) how many of them did not recognise each other or even their respective names. I should point out that we'd been at school together for at least 9 years.
You're not alone in remembering events like they were just yesterday. A curse and a gift in equal measure, perhaps?
Mr P,
You know what this is a really strange thing. I have two instances which perplexed me also.
Rather than post a comment ill write my own. (Molerat is shamlessly stealing other peoples ideas again).
Great work Pineapples. I completely agree its your memorys and life experiences that make you who you are.
I think I'm like you in this respect. My problem is living in the present - I mean seriously.
I'm so rooted in the past or in contemplating the future that I'm rarely here and now. You have to stop and smell the flowers some times.
Some cultures are very much 'present' oriented in their paradigm - Buhdism teaches us that 'living in the moment' is the only place where true happiness can be found. But generally societies that live for today go to rat shit very quickly.
Thanks for your comment on mine. Hilarious. Shame about your mate....wonder why?
Hello Exmoorjan
Yes P is entirely hilarious - utterly amusing. Do I take it that you are a bogwalker from Devon?
That's Great.
Problem is - me ole bog-walker - P has not got ANY friends.....and the ones P had can't bleedin' well remember Him.
It's a lonely ole life - being a bogwalker...I mean - being Mr P.
Lonely.
My Friend Lakelander
Your 25th anniversary got Me thinking. Is this mass forgetfulness due to the old brain cells evaporating...I wonder.
For Mr P - I remember so much...and I dont say it to impress anyone....it's the truth. I honestly thought everyone was like Me.
My little episode shocked me...and got me thinking.
Thanks for your contribution to this fine debate.
Moggsie.....firstly....The All Blacks are a mean and rough lot....duffing over the England 15 like that the other day was a bleedin' disgrace.
Anyway.
I am going to pop over to your site...to moan some more and see what gems you have written.
Amen
Kevo...thank Goodness - there are folks like Me out there.
I am trying to live more in the present but I find I do spend an inordinate amount of time contemplating what has gone before.
Mrs P - thinks I am quite a mentalist in this regard.
You are right on the rat-shit concept...we need to refer to history to inform us to live better for the present.
Maybe your 'friend' had Alzheimers or an advanced Class A habit
I'm in the past too. The whole time. Or looking to the future.
To quote Wayne's World
"live in the noooooowwwww"
It is hard though hey?
That sucks about not remembering you though P. But you are right, get him to fuck.
Live in the now.
S XX
Hie Skinny
Just like The P eh? Thank goodness for that. I am not as crazed as I thought I was.
No point keeping in touch with this guy - I would spend all the time reminding him of who I am
Funny thing, I'm always in the now, always in the present. I never want to remember the past - oh no, I'd prefer to think that most of it didn't really happen, that it's just a funny, sickly sort of dream. Besides, I'm having too much fun now to dampen it with memories of being lonely, overweight, and miserable.
But for the record, Mr P, you are definitely not an easy one to forget!
Hey BlogthatMama
Not sure if he is suffering from Alzheimers or an advanced Class A habit (which I doubt)...but what a cheek eh?
Mr P - I know it's sad but it must be hard to find time for friends with 8 kids and countless chimneys to sweep - write off the heartless, brainless sod and move on to pastures new - tough love indeed blogthatmamax
Mr P:
I was pretty shocked when I saw how many of my old class mates did not recognise each other (or even really register each other's names.) 25 years on..how much can fill your memory in that time?
I don't think that having an unusually vivid memory of things passed means that your are in some way 'stuck in the past.' I think it's just a reflection of a different memory map in your brain.
I can remember events from 40 years ago like they were yesterday, but I don't remember my wife's mobile number. Go figure?
If it's any defence, Albert Einstein refused to remember his home phone number, for fear that such things would clog up his thinking process.
Molerats has written nothing for a week. And frankly visiting his site is quite unnerving. That picture on his last post is haunting me.
MR P, I shouldn't worry too much about your old "roomie" not remembering you. Most mornings I wake and can't remember who I am.
26 years ago today I left school.
fast forward to today and I still have absolutely no idea who I am. where i am going and what I want to do when I grow up.
Molerats, If the effort of squeezing some blogging brilliance out of your arse regulalry is proving tough come over to my place and post over there. At least then between the five of us we can guarantee a steady stream of brain farts for our combined readership of 4. 32 . Whack off an email if you are interested.
My past and present is entirely seamless. I think of all that I've known all the time. I have noticed that most people are not like this...don't look back....don't remember...don't contemplate....don't think.
For me, it's a continual evaluation process.
Travistee - that is exactly how I am.
I thought everyone was like me...and this has been a shock - to find they live in the present without any particular reference to the past.
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