Saturday, 7 June 2008



How many times has The P been down the school for cosy chats with headmaster - senior teacher - form tutor?

P needs His own room down there - so when problems brew He can pop out and say -"Trouble? Here I am - let's sort it."

Yesterday...little P in school. Big lardie mouthing him. Totally out of the blue. Problem is that kids know my boys are boxers and the idiots try it on in front of their mates. To look the part - the hard man.

The Little Ps are not the biggest of lads in the school but they are not at all small. They are all fit as whippets and have real muscles. So anyone picking on a little P - is either a mentalist or on a death wish.

So little P shrugs and walks away (Mr P's advice - walk away - stay from trouble).

But lardie - then shouts out some filthy stuff about little P's mother (who he's never met - and knows nothing about). Can you bleedin' believe it?

Little P turns - says "What?" - nothing more - just "What?"

Lardie gets all arsie, more mouthing, and Lardie makes a big MISTAKE: he takes little P on and comes at little P with hands down.

BAD BLEEDIN' MOVE. (I wasnt there - it's just what I've heard).

So little P hits him with a straight right and then a left hook. So easy it's laughable.

Listen P club - If you're going to crack someone (and I say this to my boys) - you must do it with bunches of punches; never one punch in isolation - always a combination. Your combos must be hard wired into the system - and that comes through practice and repetition; so a left hook always follows a straight right, and a body punch follows in turn.


Anyway - lardie - gets hit hard and falls on his arse in the dirt.



Okay - so Little P hauled before headmaster and suspended.

Can you believe it? SUS-BLOODY-SPENDED

P comes home from work finds little P waiting on the stairs for Him - worried - scared to tell P the latest school news. Little P does his story - says he's sorry - for all the latest trouble etc....etc...

Scared that I'm going to be disapointed with him.

Well P is very disapointed.


Little P should have followed up with a left to the body and then a knee in the teeth.

If you don't let pratts like that feel the pain - well next time - who knows eh?

Anyway - so it's off to school for P - for another cosy chat.


Mr Pineapples said...

But P - arent you getting a bit violent here? I mean - a knee in the teeth?

Good Gawd man.

Anonymous said...

A knee in the teeth is a good idea but it sounds like little P had it covered.

Schools are fucked when it comes to disciplining the wrong kids.

You straighten those school teachers out Mr P!!!!

And good on little P for sorting those fuckers out. I bet they won't challenge him again.


Mr Pineapples said...

Hey Skinny. Always a joy to chat with. kids are the nicest, kindest kids. I have always taught them to look out for kids getting bullied and picked on. Always encouraged them to hate racial prejudice (apart from the French of course).

But - my philosphy is that if anyone picks on you (and I dont mean stupid little kids) - you get your retaliation in first. Otherwise those bully kids chase you up and give you more.


Bit sad that he's suspended but I supose they had no choice.

I never get angry with my kids for fighting in school. But I cant stand lipping off teachers and not working hard.

Hey - how's the weather over there?

It's raining constantly over here !!

Anonymous said...

My Dear P,

How sad to see that Minor P has been suspended purely because he chose to stick up for himself, to say nothing of defending his and defending his mothers honnour! What, if I may be so bold as to ask happened to Odious Lardie Rugrat? I do hope that he did not get off scott free, otherwise there would be no justice in the world ( after all, HE started it!!!)

Jayne said...

Shoulda kneecapped the fucker so's he had to slither home. Well done to Junior P for decking the git & well done for you supporting him. Now sue the school for all the stress Junior has had to deal with :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey again P!

Weather is good. As usual. Sunny here all the freakin' time. Gets a bit boring really.

I guess I can't ever remove the Scottish part of me that loves to moan about the weather!

Your kids sound delightful from what you say about them. And you are right to get them to stick up for themselves. Bullies need to be taught a lesson from the beginning or like you say, they would just keep at it hey?

Hating that he is suspended though, that has given me the shits. Do the teachers know that the bully said some awful stuff about Mrs P?
I think that the bully should also be suspended.

electro-kevin said...

I hope your lad's alright and that the full story is explained to the Head.

I recommend power-slapping. Virtually a guaranteed knockout with one hit.

Double-hip technique with open hand devised by Peter Consterdine.

Mr Pineapples said...

Well folks - thanks for the kind comments:

Minxta - lardie rugrat - went off scot free - although he has looked a bit of a pillock to his mates. All quiet on OLPAS Front?

Jayne - nice to see you on The P - difficult for me to sue - I am one of the school governors!

Skinny - little P did a statement setting out what happened - in fairness the teachers were sympathetic but had to take some action - cant allow fights and all that

Kevo - thanks for the tip - P is going to check this (the power-slapping) and try it out on the next unsuspcting punk out there.

I went into town in Saturday with my son - and the amount of kids who came up to him with congratulations and back slapping was incredible!!

Anonymous said...

My Dear P,

Judging by the congratulatory attitude taken to Minor P by Minor P's contemporaries, lardie rugrat evidently had it coming to him!

Oh, and guess what?!
I've got a first round interview - at least its a chance, however faint, of a toe in the door, no?!?!