Tuesday, 22 April 2008


Hey Up

Dear P weenies

Don't you all agree that Liverpool fans are the most embarrassingly sentimental bunch of old winge-bags on the face of this planet. Watching them sing those dreadfully maudlin and tear-jerking songs just makes Me want to cry ...out of embarrassment....and pain.

And all that girlie flag waving. What are they? Americans?

Liverpool v Chelsea tonight.

Let's hope Chelsea (a fine LONDON team) - hammer the whyning miserable getts. And send them home to do a bit more sentimental blubbering.

Stephen Gerrard - Liverpool captain, is TOTALLY useless. All he's good at is falling over in the penalty box and scrtching his arse. When he plays for England - noone notices that he's even on the pitch. Me and mini-P's are mystified by the annonymous bloke running around in the middle of the pitch - "Hey Pater - that git is Gerrard..." -that's what my kids always say.

Do-you-know-what - I can play better than him - I honestly can play better than Stephen Gerrard. Mr P would do his job and accept half the money he gets. He really would.

Come on Chelsea.


Law Minx said...

Dear Mr P,

As a fine, upstanding and , indeed ,long term member of Liverpool's Supporters Club, all I have to say to the Chelsea First Team is:

Mr Pineapples said...

Excuse bloody-me

But P is a Chelsea fan...

What exactly is a "Metrosexual Nonce"?

Law Minx said...

My Dear Mr P,

Permit me to enlighten you:

Metrosexual (met.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. An urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.

Nonce:A common British insult - generally equivalent to wa**er, or tw*t.

Therefore, Chelsea FC = A great big bunch of Metrosexual Nonces.

And I do belive, at the time of writing, that Liverpool are winning!
(you're not singing annnnny moooorrrre!!!)

Vokkoff said...

Mr Hitch, your taste-in-the-mouth has not left us in the Ukraine, we recognise you from many, many month ago when you wank on our peoples from long away. Fucks you and all thats stand on you. Bastards.

Mr Pineapples said...

Dear Vokof

Thank you for coming onto The P's blog and contributing in such a kind way.


P might not have a hat like you do have but He can certainly borrow a hat. There is a hat in P's attic which Mrs P chucked up there a few months back.

P can get it down if you like - but it means getting the ladder out and switching on the attic light.

Be patient.

ke said...

What's there not to love about the English (and I suppose Indian food kind of goes with that territory as well, since it was in England I first had really great Indian food)?

Also--have you read Harry Potter? I held out forever before reading them and now I can't help but love the books. And your countryman wrote it...Why the Harry hate?

Mr Pineapples said...


Me ole darlin'

Lovely to have you on the Blog....we need some class on the Blog - all we seem to get - is Posh Barristers, wierdos in hats and Mr P himself( I love them Posh Barrister birds actually).


P read Harry Potbarrel to His kids years back - and do-ya-know-what?

They said:

"Pater - can you give us a bit of Enid Blyton?"

P ended up reading "The Magic Far Away Tree" (all the books) - 3 bleedin' times. Then there was the "Treasure Hunters" (twice) and "Hop, Skip and Jump" (3 times).

P has even read "Treasure Island" and "Huckleberry Fyn" to them.

Hundreds of books later - they still go on about Enid - and spit whenever the Name Harry is mentioned.

You cannot replace the classics.

What-cha-think-of that then eh?

merry weather said...

I agree Mr Pineapples. Wholeheartedly.

Enid forever...

Vokkoff said...

You have been seen

And you have been judged

And you have been done.

Wait for it.

Vokkoff said...

As you know we have tied you down to a certain area with your IP address. Please keep the rotten comments coming as we need to tie you down to one particular IP so that we can fuck you up absolutely.....

Mr Pineapples said...


A Liverpool supporter!

P knew it

Ya big cry baby

Vokkoff said...

I would definately see a phsyciatrist for your dillusions of grandeur, you fuckin' schoolboy. I hope you finish your homework before you start leaving shitty remarks all over the internet. Does your mummy know what you get up to on her computer?

I would also hazard a guess that the only reason you are a boxing fan is that you like the look of all those blokes stripped to the waist punching each other. Turns you on, does it? You like to see sweaty boys smacking each other? pervert.

This blog (sic) is a wank stain on the arsehole of the internet and you are the master wank stain yourself.
So go run me through your "likkle police system" with your schoolboy mates. You can all sit round mummy's laptop with your plastic policeman's helmets on pretenting that somebody actually gives a fuck if you get upset.

In response to:
(any more threats from you punk - and P will be running you through the
our lickle police system.....P might be a chimney sweep)

But was a time when P was involved in security services.....Ruskies
know all about dat dont sey??

Mr Pineapples said...

But Vokof - we have you placed already. Do you think The P is the only site we have.

Been monitoring you for a month or so my ole buddie - you go on one of our sites - we pin you down. Ever since your first "threat" we have tabbed you.

Who said anything about the police? Good-Gawd - it's deeper than that.

Bit naive there me old mucker.

We know that Rod and you is the same geezer - plus nudie girlfriends.

P is a fighter (not a scrapper mind you). It's all about hitting and not getting hit.

And all this cos Liverpool let in a late goal. Bleedin' 'ell brother - calm down - it's only a game of football.

Hey Rod, talking of the police, - did you know that Reisa got done after the match? He was found on the M25 heading on the wrong direction?


Speak to you later.

Luv Mr P


Mr Pineapples said...

hey P

did you notice that Vokofs English had suddenly improved? It's coming on yoursite that's done it.

Well done Mr P - we learn From The P