YOUTHS OF THE UK

P weenies - listen to the words of The P.....

The other day - P went to a Youth Court for the First Time.

What an eye-opener. What a revelation impartation to the mind of The P.

And He spills the beans right here, because these Youth Courts are a microcosm of the State of the UK and indeed of the whole of the Western World.

And we need to know about them.

P entered because He was in another Court across the road and was asked to pop over to mitigate on behalf of a youth about to receive sentence for a crime (P wont name the youth, or the crime). P never done this before - He does some crime - but only major, arse-kicking - intellectual varieties...as you can imagine.

The SICK THING was - everyone thought I was a SOLICITOR and kept referring to me as their "Friend". P is NOT a bleedin' thicko solicitor - and He is not a "Friend" at all.

First P cock up: He stands up to address the Tribunal. WRONG ! It's a Youth Court - we all sit down, nice and cosy - we never upset the Youths by being formal in any way. P told to sit down - Three Times.

Second P balls up: He addresses the defendant by full name. WRONG ! It's first name terms here pal - no scaring youths with surnames...no Siree.

The cock ups continued....but P successful and all that He asked for He got.

Youth very pleased - tearful and grateful - off he goes back home....chuffed.

But Listen.

The whole thing - geared towards making youths feel happy, at ease, languid. No big stick here - no fear - no need for respect - no bleedin' nuthing. The way the Court spoke to the youth was: softly, tenderly, sweetly - Fluffy teddy-bear style.

Youth Worker in Tow - (and allowed to speak for the youth) - Mums and Dads in Tow (allowed to speak for the youth), even youth allowed to give a little speech about how remorseful they were etc...and wont do it again etc...

And off they go - to do even more of the same crime. Cynical? Hope not - P hates cynics - but where is the teeth in all of this?

Victim suffered a great deal - P knows so - victim lost quite a bit of money and was badly beaten up in the process - despite this = NO COMPENSATION awarded.

Tough on Crime? You are having a laugh.

P spoke at length to the Court Ushers. Their view? The system lacked any sense of authority - any sense of awe - youths are allowed to play computer games on their mobile phones all the way through the trial - to give the finger to whomever they wished, to chew, laugh, fart, and scratch their bleedin' arses - as long as it put them at ease.

A good arse scratching can really chill you down.

But where was the tea lady? Wheeling her way though the Court - with cakes and bottles of Iron Brew (alcohlic version). This would be helpful.

Ushers said - it was the norm for parents not to turn up; youths are often on their own.

But P was shocked at the banality of the process, at the casual and ultra informal approach.

P is a liberal at heart - with a natural irreverence towards His betters - but we must have some respect for authority - Surely? Some sense of the Majesty of The Law?

Come on P Club - let's have a massive debate about this.