Thursday, 1 May 2008


Wow baby - yea.

Alright? Listen little P's.

P realises that most of the buggers who come on this Blog have no friends ...but for the few who have: get your address book out/ open up Outlook contacts and dump 'em....remove your friends...entirely. Resolve that you will have nothing more to do with them.

It's great!

Do it because most of your pals are stuck, safe, secure, boring people: had the same job, same house, and low expectations for the last 20 years or more.

Get rid of them ....they are weights around your neck, sleep walk you towards death and encourage you (by their indolence) to accepte your lot. As Groucho Marx said: "Opium for the masses."

P has listed out all His dull friends and administered a whole-sale sacking. What's the point of them? Nothing. Goodbye. He wrote a letter advising that they were negative and of no bloody use......and it was "cherio.....thanks...but no-thanks......enjoy your BBQ".

Okay - so P has no friends now.....but He is going to get some new ones. Yes Sir - New Buddies.

Folks who want an easy safe existence and nothing more - make P sick.

P says to his kids (and His foster kids) - " feeling scared about doing are?.....great...DO IT ANYWAY.." Then P says:

“There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope.”

Bloody Brilliant.

There are folks who only see how things go wrong - who revere safety, abhor change; babies who never developed as people. No conversation - other than their dog, the holiday to how their bloody boss doesnt recognise their talent, after all these years.

P sat with a bloke last week - bloke was whyning on about how the firm doesn't give him credit for all he's done, dont reward him well enough. P says "Listen....who's fault is this? YOUR BLOODY something about it."

Sick thing: P realised He had the exact same conversation with the exact same bloke one year before.


When P changed career there were those who tutted, shook their heads, pointed out the bad bits, said things like "You must be Mad P".

BUT others said "Go for it will succeed......we are with you....".

Enbrace those folks who embrace life, who have a "YES" attitude.......THEY ARE GOLD-DUST.

Some of your so called buddies never want to see you succeed - SACK EM.


Yea Baby



Mr Pineapples said...

But P - this is so Wise.

Thank You for sharing this us.

Anonymous said...


You are so wise Mr P.

*runs off to ditch the boring and "bad for me" people*

Fanks love!

But you'll be my new friend huh?

electro-kevin said...

Unfortunately I need to sack myself having read this.

But very true if you are to be a great success.

Although not so true if you don't want to make a splash.

I've taken many risks and regretted nearly all of them, in which case the answer is to learn not to regret. I bet your friend would look more like a success if he'd said "I love my job, I love my house, everything's fine and dandy."

That's the only difference between success and failure. And one of the greatest successes is to hold on to friends who give a shit about you.

Anonymous said...

Crikey, Mr P, whats brought this on?! Are you still overcome with emotion following the unfortunate result at Stamford Bridge on Wednesday? Are all of your friends Liverpool Supporters?!!

bsq(c) said...

Whilst I don't agree with your reasons for dumping your friends, I do believe in friend "dumping" when they are no longer any good for you- not in an egoistical way as in they serve no purpose for you, but in a they've wronged you kinda way. Though having said that, I suppose friends must serve some kind of utility, even if it is just mere friendship..

I'm sorry, I don't quite know what this long rant was about!

Also, forgive me for having nothing on my blog- I'm not starting it until mid June. xxx

Erica said...

excellent advice!

one must take risks to succeed, i have taken many risks in life, done many things that 'friends' have stood back and shook there heads at, i have not regret'd a single thing, life is short, live in the moment, live each day as if its your last, love your life, is you dont love it... bloody change it, if so called friends are holding you back, ditch 'em.

Mr Pineapples said...

Hie Gang...The Wisdom of The P.

Ere Skinny Girl - P needs a He's dumped the last fit the bill real good.

Hey Kev...nothing wrong really with being a boring gett...BUT it struck P whilst discussing dogs with erstwhile friends that it was time to move on; we only have an allotted time on this planet why waste it? Surely life is about taking risks - that's in part how we grow and develop as people - is it not?

Minxta - P has felt this way for ages - but after speaking to aforementioned former colleague P realised what a waste of bloody space some of these people are. P hates whingers and whyners when they do bugger all to change things.

bsq(c) - (brilliant name) - P is not sanctioning dumping all boring people - far from it (life is about helping others)but why spend your time on characters when the spark and reason for being with them has evaporated?

Erica (faccia bella) - giss-a-snog; I agree with everything you say.

Chris H said...

YOU are weird man... can't quite get my head around your blog mate. But if it works for you, rock on.

Anonymous said...

Fanks Mr P.

Anonymous said...

... My Dear P,

On an off topic note- where's your blogroll, you blue meanie?!

Mr Pineapples said...


Do you honestly wish to be associated with The P? To have the commendation of such an unscrupulous individual as Mr Pineapples?

Will this not scupper your standing in blog-world and dent your fine reputation?

Oh - and as for Chelsea-Liverpool - all P wants to say is:

"You're not singing're not sing-ing any-more.."

How does P actually do a blog roll anyways? Does it involve mustard or relish?

Jayne said...

You teach people how to treat you. Nuff sed :-)
Pity we can't ditch relatives!


yeah.....where's yer blogroll P hmm?

Mr Pineapples said... does this blog-roll thing work? how's it sorted?

Anonymous said...

My Dear P,

I do believe that my reputation in the Ether, such as it is, was instantaneously scuppered the moment I first responded to your random provocations on other people's blogs. In light of this, therefore, the very LEAST kindness you can do me - and , indeed, all of your faithful followers at large - is to link our blog pages to yours. Tis the easiest thing in the world to accomplish - a spot of cut and pasting of links at your blogpage dashboard, and will be a tremendously flattering exercise for your good self, for you will be able to gaze upon the length list of your admirers with considerable satsifaction. Ultimately then, such a blogroll is not for the benefit of such small and uncessesary individuals such as my self, but for the greater glory of your not insubsantial Ego.

With respect to the ferrago that was Chelsea-Liverpool, I fully accept that whilst the Liver no Longer sings, you Fruity Bun people may very well get your backsides comprehensively burned by Red Devils....!

Trubes said...

I'm a Liverpool 'laydee da' and hate the whining Liverpool Fans...
'When you Walk Through a Storm' arse... what's that all about?
We are surrounded by Liverpool fans and they drive me potty, with their pathalogical dislike of Evertonians.
Just jealousy if you ask me Mr P. We have a much classier club and a greater history than Liverpool FC. So, from now on I am taking your advice and ditching any friends who supports Liverpool FC..

Everton FC is pure class Mr P we rock !

I love your views on life and I love your site, it rocks too !

A breath of fresh air, indeed, you make ol 'Tubes' laugh.



EmmaK said...

Very insightful. I agree, most friends are a pain in the rectum. I dumped all of mine when I moved to the USA, but now have once again amassed a truck load of whingers. I will dump them into the nearest lake forthwith.

Mariana Batistello said...

Oi..não entendi se pediu para eu escrever em inglês ou se escrevi algo errado (não consegui localizar...)

ardi said...

mr pineapples, you comentation a my friend spanish and I love ronie and tévez for Manchester United!
The futbol spanish is very good and beautiful and I love drinkin whiski.

bye bye!!!

Law Girl said...


Mr Pineapples said...

Dear Fellow P's

Thanks for the comemments. This dumping ones friends thing is begining to take off.

Soon we will all be friendless.


Minxtaaa - P will try to BlogRoll you (over a hot fire....covered in chocolate)....but may need to elicite the help of my 5 year old daughter who is quite nifty on computers).....and the wonderful Jayne too.

Trubs - great message,and welcome to P Land. I am a closet Everton fan....always support the insult intended, but Liverpool get all of the glory and the attention..and P is SICK of it.

Emmak - great to have you in the Club (the P club...not a bun in the oven club). I like your Blog - a visit is like sucking a raw lemon: invigorating and fresh.

My Spanish members - thanks for joining - we are all Europeans now arnt we?

Adios Amigos.

Trubes said...

mr pineapples: You are my friend for life if you are a'closet Evertonian!
In fact you are now on my 'favs, list.
Now, it doesn't get any better than that!

Have a good weekend.

Marshall Daigre said...

hey, i commented back on your question on my blog.

btw, how did you find my blog?

just curious.

Anonymous said...

My Dear P,

Having never considered myself to be marshmallow material, I do wonder if your method of blogrolling is one that you will (eventually) acquire from Delia Smiths Epic Tome " How to Cook (parts one and two)" as much as from Blogger itself.........

Nick and Kaitlin Phelps said...

Hello Mr. P,
To answer your question, Utah is in the western states. Next to Idaho, Colorado, and above Arizona.
BTW, how did you find my blog? Just wondering.
Good Luck to you.

Mr. McGregor's Daughter said...

Hi, Mr. P. Just thought I'd leave my answer here to your comment on my blog. "Squirrelhaven" is a totally fictitious name I gave my garden in an ironic bow to the squirrels who torment me by clipping off flowers and digging up plants. The unofficial motto of Squirrelhaven is "You don't have to be nuts to live here, but it helps." (I hope this isn't a duplicate comment.)

electro-kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Molerats said...

The National party in our country wants to crack down hard on all P users. The P Club is an expensive and life debilitating club to be in. Clouds the brain and rots the teeth.

Beware all fans of P. 1-2 hits you may get away with. But anymore and you will find yourself in a dark downward spiral of gormless Everton high fiveing and no friends.

Trust the Molerat, the Molerat sees no evil, he hears it!!!!!